Support and Counselling

Stories about adoption in the media tend to focus on happy reunions, but the reality is often more complicated. Past adoption practices have caused significant trauma, loss and grief for many of the people involved, and it’s common to want some support working through that.

Our search and support workers at VANISH are qualified professionals with extensive experience in supporting people affected by adoption and family separation. Many of our staff also have a lived experience of adoption so they can understand what you’re going through. You can feel comfortable reaching out to VANISH for support.

Choose the type of support that works for you

VANISH offers a few different ways to get support, and you’re welcome to use more than one. We can arrange a phone call with one of our support workers, refer you to a specialist counsellor, or connect you with one of our support groups, which run in North Melbourne, in regional Victoria, and online. Scroll down for more information about referrals and funded counselling.

Our services are open to people whose adoption or separation from their child took place in Victoria and for people who now live in Victoria, including intercountry adopted people.

Please contact us to discuss how we can best support you.

VANISH services are not designed for crisis support.

If you require immediate support, please call 000 or one of the services below: 

Lifeline

Ph: 13 11 14 

Beyond Blue

Ph: 1300 22 4636

Men’s Line Australia

Ph: 1300 78 99 78

Suicide Call Back Service

Ph: 1300 659 467

SuicideLine Victoria

Ph: 1300 651 251

Counselling Referral Service

An adoption-sensitive and trauma-informed counsellor can help you explore difficult feelings and address underlying issues of grief, loss, identity, shame and self-worth. 

VANISH can assist you to connect with a counsellor or psychologist from our register of professionals, all of whom have the adoption sensitivity and understanding required to work with the issues commonly experienced by people affected by adoption and family separation. This service is ongoing and available to anyone seeking a counsellor with this specialist understanding, whether or not you need funding support.

Please call us to discuss your referral requirements.

Counselling Brokerage Program

From time to time, VANISH is funded by the Victorian government to provide a counselling brokerage program, through which we can fund up to ten counselling sessions with a counsellor or psychologist of your choice. Participants must meet eligibility criteria including financial barriers to accessing counselling.

Funding for this program lapsed after 30 June 2026. The Victorian Government advised that it wasn’t able to continue funding this program through the existing departmental arrangements for adoption services. VANISH continues to advocate strongly for this support to be reinstated, and we’ll update this page as the situation develops. If you had a current referral before funding lapsed, please be assured that you will still be able to access those sessions until the referral (or approved extension) expires.

We have also compiled a list of alternative options for accessing funded counselling that you may be eligible for here.

The ongoing impact of adoption

Adoption can have lifelong personal and psychological impacts for all members of the adoption constellation, including mothers, fathers, adopted people, and extended family members. 

Research conducted by the Australian Institute of Family Studies (2012) found that: 

  • Adopted people had poorer wellbeing, higher psychological distress, and experienced problems with attachment, identity, fear of abandonment, relationships, and parenting their own children. 
  • Mothers had a higher likelihood of severe mental health problems, low self-worth, and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).  
  • Fathers, who were often excluded from the adoption process, also experienced mental health issues and symptoms of PTSD. 
  • Adoption created a “ripple effect”, with long-term impacts felt by other family members, including siblings, partners, extended relatives, and subsequent generations.

Some common concerns may be: 

  • Deciding whether to undertake a search or not 
  • Managing emotions during a search, reunion and beyond 
  • Discovering later in life that you are adopted 
  • Relationship difficulties 
  • Confusion around identity and sense of belonging 
  • Pervasive shame and low self-worth 
  • Ongoing feelings of loss and grief

    Some things that can help are: 

    • Acknowledgment and validation of what happened and its long-term impact 
    • Learning about other peoples’ experiences of adoption and family separation 
    • Finding information about one’s family members and the circumstances of the adoption/family separation through accessing adoption records 
    • Attending a support group or connecting with others with a similar experience through social or creative activities or community events
    • Working with a specialist, trauma-informed counsellor or psychologist 
    • Reading or watching the state and national apologies

    Get in touch with our friendly team

    Contact us to find out more about our services or discuss how we can best support you.

    Contact Us